I’ve heard that many people struggle with obsessing over a single person or stressing over the feeling that if this first date isn’t with “the one” the whole process will be worthless.
Because my friends had told me that it was important to meet *many* people, I was too busy to do much obsessing or stressing!
Mini Dates take a minimum of 2-3 hours each to interact online, set up the Mini Date, get ready for and drive to the Mini Date, have it, and then figure out what’s next. And those early Mini Dates took me much longer. Focusing on getting to a lot of Mini Dates put me in touch with the very real truth that there are more people out there, even if this particular interaction doesn’t work for me or for him.
I also had to give myself permission to make mistakes and learn from dating. When I started the Mini Date adventure, I was sure I wouldn’t get it “right” the first time. I was right! It was easier to accept my perfectly imperfect results when I could see more Mini Dates coming down the line.
To take the pressure off of each Mini Date:
- I assumed that there were more people out there to date.
- I assumed I would make mistakes and learn from them.
- I assumed that I don’t necessarily need a partner or even a second date to make my life complete. I have a great life already!
- I assumed that if it’s not a match, whether by my standards or his or both, it’s a great chance to learn from the experience.
Read more in this series:
- Introduction: What I Learned About Online Dating
- Why I Embarked On a Dating Adventure
- What is a Mini Date?
- Mini Date Lesson #1: Invite Adventurously
- Mini Date Lesson #2: Keep It Short
- Mini Date Lesson #3: Choose Your Conversation Topics Wisely
- Mini Date Lesson #4: Meet In A Public Place to Talk (And Listen)
- Mini Date Lesson #5: The Sense of Abundance and Dating
- Wrap Up